The Deep Lore

And thus I circle around back to the early days of the internet and social media as a whole. I've been on the internet virtually since its inception, and have watched it grow, shift, change, and languish over the span of three decades. Back when AOL was the predominant way people got online, through dialup modem connection (and thus rendering your home landline unusable), back when online fandoms were exciting and based around community and sharing what we loved, back when you had to wait an hour for a 5 minute video to load, I was a tween/teenager exploring the untamed depths of the internet.

A lot has changed since then. So much of what used to be wild territory has been overtaken by gentrification, collected into boxes that make us scared to venture outside them. Social media used to be where we went to share things with people we knew we wanted to invite in, instead of a place where we posted everything for all to see; you didn't have to worry about private, intimate information being seen by those you didn't want seeing it. You could cultivate private circles and specialized groups. And no one made you feel ashamed about keeping your personal information to yourself; in fact, it was especially encouraged.

I know this is a lot of "Old Man Yells At Cloud" energy, but as far as I can tell, this website feels closer to what I enjoyed about my early experiences on the internet. It's probably going to take a long while before I make this a truly social platform for myself, but honestly, I'm not sure that I mind things taking a slower, quieter pace for a bit.

That said, perhaps my first entry should do a little more to introduce myself to this space? Outside of what can be inferred from above ;)

I am a woman in my 30's, someone who always wanted to be a teacher but found the ongoing constraints of working in that field to be more of an impediment to teaching people than a way of reaching them. I have always prided myself on my writing, whether creative or more practical application, have always been doodling comics instead of writing notes when in class, have always loved singing and acting (whether or not I'm actually good at either; that's up to subjective opinion, after all).

I am a fat woman with disabilities, ADHD, and depression. These things shape my life, and while they limit many things that I can do, they have shaped me into the person that I am, and in a few ways for the better. I've been able to grasp issues with social justice more easily because of how I was ostracized in my youth, and even then, have had to do a lot of unpacking and unlearning due to how sheltered I was. But the basic concept of "some people have an additional fight to overcome, and they shouldn't have to" was something so basic to me. As such, my lived experiences and the lived experiences of those close to me have in turn shaped my politics and beliefs.

I am staunchly opposed to capitalism, and believe we need to shift away from the current state of the government if we truly want to evolve, or even survive as a species. As a spiritual person with strong pagan influence, and a former Christian, I believe that even the evil of the world is important to understanding the good in it. I believe in the goodness of humanity, and the unbreakable spirit of those who find even a grain of hope to hold onto.

I've been a Let's Player, voice actor, singer, project manager, director, writer, webcomic artist, and more in the time since I started creating things on the internet stage. I love listening to music, especially broadway musicals, and I love playing videogames (well, some kinds of videogames, anyway XD). I still use XD in how I type, because fuck it, it's part of my online 'voice' at this point.

To anyone who actually reads this... thank you. :) I'll hopefully be back someday soon with more to say. But, perhaps you've gotten a decent idea of who I am from all this.